


Context

by stephanericher



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 16:12:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7470360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stephanericher/pseuds/stephanericher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(three times Taiga said it was okay & one time it was)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Context

“So,” Taiga says, stretching out the syllable, drawing a line in the condensation on his water glass with his pinky.

“So,” says Alex.

She looks at Tatsuya again, the same sidelong way she’s been looking at him the whole time they’ve been here; he looks back at her in that reassuring way he’d always looked at Taiga before encouraging him to try something when they were kids. And then he looks back across the table, as if he wants to look away—but he meets Taiga’s eyes and nods.

“We’re dating.”

Taiga’s pinky slips. He looks at Alex; her face is serious. He looks back at Tatsuya.

“You’re dating.”

His voice seems to come from far away, as if he’s drunk and the person who said those words is having a loud conversation across the room and he can’t focus on what’s right in front of him. Alex nods. They’re dating—how can they? How would it ever occur to them? Aren’t they all like a family? He’s never said out loud that Alex is like a combination of mother and sister and aunt to him, but she is; he’d always assumed Tatsuya felt the same way, and that Alex had reciprocated only those feelings. And neither of them had ever, until now, given him any reason to think otherwise—they can’t have always felt like this; there’s no way. Taiga takes a breath, steadying himself, trying to slow his thoughts down, trying to say anything to make them stop looking at him so expectantly.

“How long?” he says.

“A couple of weeks,” says Alex. “I’m—we’re—sorry we didn’t tell you, but…”

“We didn’t want to make things weird if nothing came of it,” says Tatsuya. “And we don’t want to go any further if it’s not okay with you.”

Taiga blinks. He looks back at them; Tatsuya’s body is angled ever-so-slightly toward Alex’s as if he wants to pull her close to him, regardless of the answer. And, regardless of the answer, he should. It wouldn’t be right to say he’s not okay with it, not if it means they’re going to break up (and they would; they wouldn’t pretend to and then carry on behind his back after saying that). And the something that’s clearly been up, this something, has made them a little bit happier and spacier and Taiga doesn’t want to imagine what they’re thinking about, but he can’t deny them that. And he’s not really okay with it, but he’s not okay with them being unhappy, either.

“Yeah. I’m okay with it.”

He wonders how convincing it is; it doesn’t sound that way to him but Alex and Tatsuya look delighted and Tatsuya does put his arm around her and, ew. He’s not okay with seeing that stuff right now so he tries to stare somewhere else, anywhere else.

“Thank you, Taiga,” says Tatsuya.

Taiga manages a weak smile in return.

* * *

He’s okay with it—well, he’s not okay with it at first, but he’s decided he’s going to have to be, however long this lasts. It’s easy to reconcile those thoughts when they’re hanging out together and Tatsuya and Alex are both so happy; it’s easy to repeat over in his head that he’s okay that they’re dating. And it really hasn’t impacted his relationship with either of them; they don’t talk about it much (whether out of consideration for him or for their own privacy Taiga’s not sure, but it doesn’t really matter).

And he’s okay with it in the abstract, or even in the less-abstract when Tatsuya leaves their one-on-one a little early for a date with Alex or when Alex mentions her upcoming plans with Tatsuya (as long as she doesn’t go into too much detail). But when they’re all together and Tatsuya and Alex start to do those weird couple things, like staring at each other while pretending they’re not or holding hands or making out or derailing the conversation from a safe topic into the bottomless ditch of stupid flirting, well—Taiga’s still okay with their relationship as a thing, but he doesn’t want to be party to this. It’s weird when anyone does it, but it’s weirder still when it’s Alex and Tatsuya and he’s right there and he’s not sure if he should look away or glare at them or even do anything.

But he always feels uncomfortable, and it’s like a persistent grass-stain on his jeans, permeating everything, something he can’t scrub away until much later. It colors everything, even after they’ve finally subsided and moved back into the realm of normal discussion.

It must be really obvious to them how uncomfortable he is, not obvious enough for them to stop it but obvious enough for Alex to pull him aside.

“I know you’ve said you’re okay with us,” Alex says, “but please don’t feel like you have to say that. If you’re uncomfortable with this, if it’s too weird for you—”

“It’s not,” says Taiga, quickly; Alex looks utterly unconvinced.

“I mean,” Taiga adds. “If you guys could, you know, tone it down a little bit, that would be nice.”

Alex frowns, pauses. “Okay.”

Taiga breathes out and offers her a tentative smile. “Okay?”

She nods.

* * *

The conversation sticks to his mind like gum to the bottom of his shoe; it’s a faulty track on a disk that repeats itself, skipping back over again—the frown, the uncertainty, the uneasy feeling that’s been weighing him down since then.

It flashes across his eyes every time Alex and Tatsuya start to go down that road, reach for each other’s hands or start to switch their tones of voice or move a little bit closer—then they look at him; then they reset themselves; then they occasionally apologize. It’s an apology Taiga is somehow not okay with accepting, even though it’s what he asked for.

It’s because it really isn’t okay. He can pretend it is; he can pretend that he’s so happy for them (well, he is, in an abstract kind of way) and that he wants them to be together and that he’s the perfect supportive friend, but when push comes to shove he clearly isn’t. He’s clearly not ready to watch them engage in public displays of affection or even private ones; he’s not ready to see them acting like the couple they so clearly are; he’s not ready and he’s not okay with it and putting them through this isn’t helping anything.

And it’s not fair to them—this isn’t about him, and it shouldn’t be.

Taiga repeats the line in his head, trying to override the conversation, Alex’s frown. He twirls the basketball on his finger; next to him Tatsuya stretches out his arm and drops it around Alex’s shoulders; she half-laughs and then they both look at Taiga. Tatsuya begins to lift his arm up again but Taiga shakes his head.

“No. Do it. It’s—whatever, it’s okay. I shouldn’t have told you not to.”

He drops the basketball and it bounces up; he catches it and brings it in, and out of the corner of his eye he spots Alex leaning her head on Tatsuya’s shoulder and placing her hand on his thigh and it’s weird and his face is already burning but whatever. The tension level’s dropped; it feels okay again.

* * *

His flip-flops smack the pavement with sharp slaps, heavy like gutter water surging over the edge in waves against the windowpane. It’s not a pleasant sound, but he’d rather be early to the barbecue than on time. And since Tatsuya’s practically living with Alex at this point, he’s probably already there (unless they’d forgotten to buy something and ran out to get it, which isn’t too unlikely). He rounds the corner; Alex waves to him from the terrace.

When he gets up, Tatsuya’s chopping vegetables in the kitchen; he offers to help but Tatsuya waves him outside.

The smell of burning charcoal overpowers that of summer in the city, car exhaust and hot garbage and sweat.

“Nice, isn’t it?" Alex says.

She leans back in her rusty lawn chair, pointing her toes so they touch the base of the guardrail. Taiga sits in the other chair; it creaks but doesn’t give way.

“You want anything to drink?”

“Not right now.”

Alex shrugs. The door opens. In one hand Tatsuya’s balancing a platter of raw food, onions and peppers and sausage and burgers and hot dogs and chicken; in another he’s got a pitcher full of some mixed drink or other and, somehow, three glasses. He plops it all down on the table.

“Mojito?”

Taiga eyes the pitcher. He hadn’t come here to get drunk, and knowing the way Tatsuya makes cocktails if he has more than one he certainly will be. Alex motions toward the pitcher.

“Taiga? Guests first.”

He shrugs, and pours them all half-glasses.

“Take more,” Alex grumbles. “If you don’t I’ll drink it and then I’ll fall asleep.”

She’s mock-glaring at Tatsuya, and he shoots her back a look feigning innocence, and then she pinches his ass. Tatsuya sticks out his tongue. Taiga rolls his eyes (aren’t they supposed to be older than him?) and takes a sip of his drink. Yeah, it’s that strong.

These are the times Taiga’s happiest to be shut out of their little couple world, because it makes no sense to him and he doesn’t really want it to—they can keep these inside jokes and gestures to themselves. And he doesn’t say anything when Alex finishes her first drink and pours out a full glass for her next as Tatsuya begins to place the food on the grill.

He sits down on her lap and she closes her eyes, and it’s till kind of weird but Taiga doesn’t find it quite so gross and unsettling as he used to; it’s not the slow-motion train wreck where he can’t look away but can’t make himself look. It’s not exactly normal, but it’s usual, and after a while he’s not even thinking about it. They’re just talking, the way they always do.

By the time the food’s done, Alex is on her third mojito; she’s letting Tatsuya feed her food off his plate but she’d probably do that even if she were totally sober. Taiga’s feeling a little tired, too; he helps them finish off the pile of food (and all of it’s delicious) but he needs a little (or a lot) of time to collect himself before he leaves.

“You really are okay with us,” Alex says, in a way that Taiga can’t be totally sure if it’s a thought she’d meant to leave unsaid or not.

“Yeah,” says Taiga. “Yeah, I am.”

Alex smiles at him and then hugs Tatsuya close against her, pressing her lips to his shoulder, and okay, even Taiga has his limits (they’d better not start stripping out on the terrace; if they do he’s leaving).

**Author's Note:**

> this is so long and i feel like i didn't write nearly enough but the day is only so long
> 
> happy himualex day


End file.
